11 Jul 2012

Camel knickers



This evening my daughter's friend told me that today at school a boy in her class had come up to her at lunchtime, pointing at her crotch and calling out, 'camel toe!' This is a ten year-old boy, and although - yes, I am sure he is veritably seething with prepubescent urges to stare at girls' crotches, the fact that he would say such a thing seemed absolutely insane to me.


But then it got me thinking. Like most people, I have always found the sight or even the idea of a tight-trousered "camel-toe" glaring out at me from between a woman's legs a bit repulsive, or distasteful at best - as though only a certain type of woman would display such a view - and not the sort I'd want to be (although as a frequent wearer of leggings I most certainly often am). Although I like to think I would never actually point at a female crotch and shout CAMEL TOE out loud, I would probably think it to myself and shudder a little on the inside. 

This social disgust is so widespread as to appear perfectly natural, whereas in fact it is very absurd indeed. Nobody is repulsed in the same way by the sight of the bulge of a penis in men's trousers; the visual indication of male genitalia isn't given a name which is then invoked with mockery and disdain, to demean or embarrass the owner of said bulge. So what's so wrong with seeing the outline of a woman's vulva? It is predictably inconsistent that on the one hand, women are encouraged as objectified beings to wear tight fitting, sexualizing clothes and yet, on the other, they are reviled if the shape or outline of their actual sexual organs are in the least bit discernible.


So to those of you who ARE disgusted, or offended, or even a bit confused as to why ladies are consistently smuggling ungulate limbs into their pants, here's a bit of breaking news for you: 

The reason that particular shape can be seen when we wear leggings, swimwear and other such tight items is because there's a vagina in there! 

That's right, under our knickers we do not house glossy, smooth, mannequin-like mounds where our penises should be, we have our very own type of genitalia, the shape of which is more or less the same for every woman the world over, and therefore perfectly normal. And although its external part does indeed consist of two simple separate lips, comparing the look of these lips to a camel's hoof is like comparing Doctor Who's tardis to a cardboard box.

5 comments:

Unknown said...

Yes, there is a lot of silly sensitivity about that sort of thing...

Mind you, now that I've read your blog post; I may, in some form of pseudo-Freudian-tourettes frenzy, run up to a girl in the street wearing tight leggings, get all confused, point at her crotch and shout "TARDIS"; after which I would explain that it appears to be a lot smaller on the outside than it actually is once you enter...

Normski said...

Well! According to your description of reactions to the sight of the pubic mound, I must be somewhat out of line with the rest of society. For me, there is no better sight than that of half a grapefruit protruding from the pants of a pulchritudinous person, ideally of the female gender.

yanny said...

Dear Sir
I'm all for the jegging-pudenda.
As a man of refined tastes, I like my women to be naturally hirsute and nothing else.
The current trend for advertising one's wares allows me to select a desirable mate, without having the fear of later exposing a pimpled pre-pubescent nightmare.
I'm sure I speak for many gentlemen over the age of 35.
Yours Faithfully
Mr.Mac

Noodle said...

Moose knuckle is the less commonly known term for a penis, we (the bear like judges) reckon you sported your vulva well, no social disgust here :)

Anonymous said...

Gosh this is super late but i've only just started stalking you online...
The male 'camel toe' is the 'moose knuckle' #justsayin'!
Satisfying balance in all things!