High Kultur

So, I have made it back from Tahoe to the bay area, and am now staying with my wonderful new friend Etienne and her family in San Mateo.

Yesterday, we visited the Richard Avedon exhibition at the SF Museum of Modern Art, which was really interesting and beautiful, and then ate cake with pretend flies on it in the museum's rooftop cafe. In the evening we went to see Salome at the SF Opera House - the building itself was massive and incredible, and the performance was astounding, hypnotic... and other similar words with ultimately do it no justice at all...

Today, I'm off to visit the Winchester Mystery House, which I've really been looking forward to - the story is crazy; find out more here: http://www.winchestermysteryhouse.com/

I will be sure to purchase some evil spirits from the gift shop, and bring them home as souvenirs...

Lake Tahoe

This is where I am right now; I met a lovely man this morning and we spent a lot of the day together - first at Taylor Creek nature reserve, where I didn't see any bears but I DID see a ridiculous number of spawning salmon - and then at Emereld Bay - which you can see here on the photo. It's just so incredible! I came in on the road which cuts right through the Eldorado National Forest - IT'S ALL SO DAMN ENORMOUS!

I'm fast running out of minutes right now, so will add more when am next online.

This morning I ate a waffle the size of a dinner plate for breakfast. With a blob of butter the size of a small mouse.

RENO - The Biggest Little City In The World!

Reno is amazing! It seems absurd that it is a town where real people live - I feel like I'm in that part of Back to the Future 2 when Biff changes reality with his sports results book...

My hotel is the very height of gambling chic - check it out here: http://www.sandsregency.com/ I was walking forever before I made it to my room, but when I got there the view from the window was so cool; there's a massive building with green-lit shooting up sections right opposite - just like how the Emereld City looks in the Wizard of Oz.


Right now, I'm in a cafe on the river called Java Jungle, eating houmous and olives. The journey here from Davis was incredible; I came by coach and we went right through the Sierra Nevada mountains. The sky was bright blue and the landscape was just so immense; parts of it were spotted with snow and parts were all burned out from a big forest fire a couple of years ago.

Tomorrow I'm stopping off in Sacramento, California'a capital, for a couple of hours en route to Fresno, in order to stalk Governor Schwarzenegger - I have been given details regarding the hotel he rents a suite in... all I have to do is wait.

And now to make my way over to West Street Market and do poems. I have to leave here at something ridiculous o'clock in the morning - you should see the bags under my eyes, they are very very impressive.

Until the next...

Californ-EYE-aay!

So - verily, I am here!

On the plane I drank gin and spilled apple juice onto my lap.

At SFO airport I accidentally picked up someone else's bag from the conveyor belt, and by the time I realised the error and had put it back, noticed that my ACTUAL bag was on its way back into the dark tunnel. I literally dropped everything [onto the feet of the lady to my right] and made a lunge for it but something went wrong and I punched myself in the mouth. So my first views of San Francisco came chaperoned by a swollen, bleeding lip.

In short, I am uncool. But all that may be forgotten in California... because I have an English accent and am therefore, in spite of almost overwhelming evidence to the contrary, VERY VERY COOL!

That night I went for a beer with poet and playwright Mel Clay, who I met in the Beat museum [well, the Beat museum gift shop; I am pacing myself...] He's put on some really cool productions in the past and will hopefully be in the UK again with his next project next year...

Later this morning, I'm heading to Davis, where I'll be chatting to Dr Andy Jones on his poetry & Technology radio show [listen here: www.kdvs.org] and then doing a long set at Bistro 33 in Davis tonight. And tomorrow, I am Reno bound, to gamble my money and o.d. on crystal meth [by which I mean, do a gig and run a youth workshop].

Got lots of cool pics, but no means to upload them, so please insert visual imagination HERE.

Catalytic San Francisco

'Le Penseur', at the magnificent Rodin museum in Paris, taken when I was there this Summer - on Patrick Swayze's birthday in fact, August 18th; it is clearly a sign. [That is, not a sign that I am on the brink of death, so much as that we are (were) meant for one another, are (were) kindred spirits, are (were) {insert similar items here.} ] We did, after all, have a very romantic conversation about whistles and horses one night, a few years ago... at the very least he represents one of my more successful stalking adventures. Ah, lost love.


Last week I performed at David Bramwell's Catalyst Club, which was an interesting and surprisingly nerve-inducing experience. My talk was called "Vowels Eating Vowels: The Catastrophic Effects of Love Poetry", which I began with a brand new poem - yes - actually a new, brand new, actual poem! It's a great night, and you can find it downstairs at The Latest Music Bar on Manchester Street in Brighton, every 2nd Thursday.

Speaking of 2nd Thursdays, the next Hammer and Tongue will be on the 12th Nov, not the 5th - what with it being Bonfire Night and all... We have Byron Vincent and Zena Edwards, plus local poet Alan Hay - it will be awesome! It will also be your last chance to take part in the slam [if you are so inclined] until February - as December is the Grand Slam Final 2009, in which all this year's monthly winners will compete for the H&T slam champion title [plus exciting mystery prize...], and January is POETS vs. MCs time! Boo hiss, etc.

I am off to California tomorrow morning, and will no doubt update you with all manner of salacious gossip as I go along. Gig info is on my main website, and do please leave comments on here so I feel loved!

And now I must make dinner, for I have a seven year-old demon tugging at my sleeve, saying: are you going to make dinner are you going to make dinner are you going to make dinner are you going to make dinner are you going to make dinner are you going to make dinner are you going to make dinner are you going to make dinner...

The answer is YES! : I am going to make dinner.

Poison o'clock.

Lost and Found

I didn't realise how long it's been since my last blog, although this time I at least have a pseudo-valid reason, or "excuse", because my laptop was stolen from my very home a few weeks ago, and I have only NOW gotten my hands on a replacement.

Of course, the trouble with doing this so infrequently is that I attempt to cram lots of stuff into each blog, which then becomes a Rosy Digest, when I'd really rather be more Rosy Daytime TV, so henceforth I will give you snippets of news, beefed on all sides by utter nonsense. It will give all the impression of harbouring relevant information and/or potential wisdom but in fact will not even exist: you are merely being haunted by your hopes for what the future may bring.

I'm feeling very excited at the moment because in a couple of weeks I'm heading over to the US of A, and will be there until the first week of November. I have been practicing accents; if you put in the necessary effort and stalk me, you may hear such attempts echoing out through my living room windows. If this is you, please also bring rooibos and vanilla teabags, because I ran out yesterday and am simply too lazy to buy more.

I'll be flying out to San Francisco, doing a few gigs around California and Nevada, and getting some hardcore pottering done. If anyone is familiar with that bit of the world, please feel free to forcefeed suggestions.

Speaking of forcefeeding [sort of], along with writers James Burt and Kay Sexton, I became a part of the Wordia "Visual Dictionary" last week. It was most bizarre but rather good fun - check out my entries on the website, under "note" and "incorporate", and upload your own if you have such technology at your fingertips.

Next Thursday, on National Poetry Day, I will be giving at talk on Cannibalism and Love Poetry in Performance, at David Bramwell's excellent Catalyst Club, in Brighton. For more info, see here: http://www.catalystclub.co.uk

I am all alone this evening for the first time in ages and it is a strange feeling. Perhaps if I drink tea and listen to Ace of Base it will begin to feel less strange, but just in case, please send me gentle companion-based thoughts [maybe more].


p.s. The shop is in Gardenstown, Aberdeenshire and well worth a visit if you are keen on crazy vendors, non-bargains and perilous levels of grime.